March 9, 2012 § 17 Comments
February 13, 2012 § 8 Comments
I was at my Nonna’s on Sunday. Whole family thing. My cousin was lamenting that his most recent crush had friend-zoned him. He asked her out to be told she didn’t like him “that way”. So he was trying to drum up ideas that would “remind” her that he was still interested if she changed her mind, but without creeping her out too much.
January 30, 2012 § 6 Comments
January 24, 2012 § 16 Comments
ANYWAY…. I just wanted you to grasp who this came from. And Please, make no mistake, Samantha is probably the sweetest and nicest person you will ever want to meet…
She was talking about that stupid Tim Tebow thing with the 316 yards and all the other crappola they can cram 316 into. How amazing the Lord is to give messages to his believers. I asked her if good old timmy had ever passed for 317 or 315 yards, and she did not know. I pointed out that the only reason 316 was brought up was because of the mere coincidence of it being his favorite quote in the bible (yeah, and that is so fucking rare, right?). And she actually looked at me and said (and I am not making this up) “Yeah, but coincidences just don’t happen for no reason.”
My brain actually hurt. I think it was sympathy pains for Samantha’s poor unused brain.
“Hey, Sam, do you own a dictionary?”
“Go home and look up the word coincidence, would you?”
My friend Ali is laughing her ass off and Samantha laughed, stopped, looked at Ali and said “I don’t know what he means.”
So no matter what stupid things you do in your week, know this, you are not Samantha.
November 21, 2011 § 10 Comments
BBGs mentioning her having latex gloves brought this to mind.
Cleaning out C’s car. Pull everything from the trunk to vacuum it out. I pull out:
A chainsaw, two baseball bats (no balls or gloves), duct tape, several pairs of latex gloves, extra large garbage bags and a trench shovel. I told C if the cops ever pull him over they won’t even need a body. Now he has a feasible explanation for each of these strange items to find in a trunk. And one or two… okay. But all those combined….
The chainsaw: he maintains the property for his landlords, and the first chainsaw from the garage and it pissed C off he had to buy another. So he figures his trunk is safer. The big, and I mean huge, garbage bags. because the tenants are filthy dirty ass holes who leave their shit outside of the garbage bins and on a regular basis the cats in the neighbourhood rip open the garbage bags. Guess that explains the gloves, although his excuse was in case his car breaks down and he need to fix it, he doesn’t want to get grease on his hands. Duct tape… well that is just good Canadian sense at work. And a shovel, well Canadian winters, a trench shovel folds down to trunk size. The baseball bats? Even C was stumped to come up with an explanation.
I just may have to sleep with one eye open.
November 7, 2011 § 11 Comments
I love video games. When my mother claims I waste my time I tell her that when the zomies attack , and they will, she will see the rewards for my mad skills. Recently CJ has been spending quality time on my PS3 with me being at C’s. “Calvin, I don’t want you wasting your whole day on the PS3,” mom was telling him yesterday.
“I’m in training for the zombie apocolypse,” he defended himself to my pride. “See these thumbs,” he held them up,”These are the thumbs of a warrior.” I am Still laughing.
October 4, 2011 § 14 Comments
So I have hit an all time low. I am depressed and sad. C has said some awful things. He says I am bossy and controlling, that I insist on everything my way, that I never give a little. It has hit on all my insecurities about myself. But I don;t care what he says, I’m not letting him out of the basement.
Haha, well, I thought it was funny. Ali punch me, so maybe it was not as funny as I thought:P Actually, things on the Chris front have been very… peaceful of late. I’m backing off him enough that he is relaxing a bit more and things are good. My brother is being rather surly with me, says I am getting “hogged” by C. I just don’t have the time to hang out with him I used to, and he is feeling hard done by. Probably time to schedule something with him. Hit the Spirit halloween shop for costumes or something.