I know stupid people

January 24, 2012 § 16 Comments

I do.  I’m not just bragging.  Now there is a girl in my school…. we’ll call her Samantha (because that’s her name and no one in my uni reads my blog so FTW).  Sam is…well… dumb as a bag of hammers.  Now she is book smart… well okay book not-so-stupid, but she was in her second year with a sociology major before she knew what sociology meant (and no I am not making it up, she asked us).  She truly believed that condoms cause AIDS, and is probably the poster child why Ontario should rid itself of Roman Catholic schooling.

ANYWAY…. I just wanted you to grasp who this came from.  And Please, make no mistake, Samantha is probably the sweetest and nicest person you will ever want to meet…

She was talking about that stupid Tim Tebow thing with the 316 yards and all the other crappola they can cram 316 into.  How amazing the Lord is to give messages to his believers.  I asked her if good old timmy had ever passed for 317 or 315 yards, and she did not know.  I pointed out that the only reason 316 was brought up was because of the mere coincidence of it being his favorite quote in the bible (yeah, and that is so fucking rare, right?).  And she actually looked at me and said (and I am not making this up) “Yeah, but coincidences just don’t happen for no reason.”

My brain actually hurt.  I think it was sympathy pains for Samantha’s poor unused brain.

“Hey, Sam, do you own a dictionary?”
“Yeah, why?”
“Go home and look up the word coincidence, would you?”
My friend Ali is laughing her ass off and Samantha laughed, stopped, looked at Ali and said “I don’t know what he means.”

So no matter what stupid things you do in your week, know this, you are not Samantha.

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§ 16 Responses to I know stupid people

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