Why are parents always to blame?
July 28, 2011 § 17 Comments
I’ve read a few blogs lately all pointing to the faulty parenting of others. I get that there are a lot of bad parents out there. There are a lot of good parents out there. But there is an assumption that bad parents have bad children, good parents have good children. I find that funny, like saying straight parents have straight kids.
Don’t get me wrong, I am not denying that little brats often have overly-indulgent parents who spoil them. But at some point doesn’t that person take control of their lives and make of their life what they will? Isn’t part of growing up to take responsibility and not allow society to blame your parents for everything wrong you do. “Oh, he came from a broken home” or “his parents never taught him discipline”. I’m sorry, but if you are over the age of 16 it is time to stop blaming your parents. Especially since we can all do it. There is no such thing as a calculation for perfect parents, so let us all sit back and blame the over-indulgence, uncaring, alcoholic, absentee, overly intrusive, single, working, emotionally distant, over protective, overly liberal, abusive, non-disciplining, poor, rich…. insert adjective here… parents for not doing right by us. Yes there are fucked up parents, and then there are assholes out there who will blame perfectly fine parents for everything they have ever done wrong.
I heard a brilliant line the other day I wanted to share, which I guess was kind of what put this in my head. Someone who had come from a very physically and emotionally abusive home. “At some point I had to separate what was done to me, and what I did to myself. It’s the only way to own yourself.”
Maybe the problems with the youth of today is that society keeps telling them their triumphs are their own, and their failures are the fault of their parents, society, the government, the times, their friends, the drugs, the environment, the media… But certainly not their own. Maybe it’s time to give kids ownership of their lives, good or bad, they are the ones making the choices. Own the consequences.