First times

April 30, 2011 § 22 Comments

So this is the story of my first time. I know you all want to know… And I hope none of you feel less of me once you read it all.

So, I know, I could have picked someone I’ve known for a while. I mean, it is not like the world is a stranger to me. But some times things are easier with strangers. People who you never have to see again if you make a fool of yourself. Someone that, if six months from now you pass by them on a crowded street, is not going to remember you from Adam. Next, I did not want someone too young. I mean, it’s a young man’s game, but I did not want any first timers trying it out on me, no thank you. At least not for my first time.

So he was in his early thirties. He was willing to take me right away, so how can I say no? Do it, before I changed my mind. I’ve been dying to get it done, but I have chickened out over and over again. But I had bragged about this. This was going to be it! I was not going to admit to chickening out again.

When I first saw it I nearly bolted. It looked fucking huge. Was that just perception? Because it was going in me? Either way I knew there was no way on earth that was not going to hurt like hell. He wasted no time, urging me to just lean back and relax. Yeah, right, easy for him to say. Nothing was going inside HIS body. Sure for him and simple in-out procedure.

He noticed my nerves, though I tried to play it cool? “First time?” he guessed and I nodded. “I imagine it won’t be your last,” he grinned. “Addictive you know,” a wink. Let’s just get through the first time, for fuck‘s sake. I was right. It hurt like hell. I thought he would never finish. Finally he looked up. “All done. You did great.” Latex removed. “Next time it’ll be easier, you won’t be so nervous.”

I leaned back closing my eyes, taking a minute to recuperate, sensing his urgency in getting me out of there, but he was nice and didn’t say anything to send me on my way before I was ready.

“Thanks. Sorry if I was a big baby about the whole thing.”

He shrugged. “You were not that bad,” he shook his head as I handed him the agreed upon money. A lot of money, but well worth it to finally see it done.

So there you have it. Tongue ring in place.

It’s still sore, and apparently I will be talking funny for about a week.

Brilliant night

April 28, 2011 § 10 Comments

My girl Ali picked me up. We spent about an hour on our own talking about stuff. She has been kind of out of tough since her boyfriend came into her life. I don;t blame her. She`s in love. We talk new boyfriends. It was great to spned time one on one with my girl. Then the mob shows where we spned hours drinking, dancing and being wild. Chris eventually shows after work. Afterwards I go back there. It was the best night I remeber in forever. No, no sex. Just speding time together and talking. OWrkingthrough shit without arguing or fighting, just being together.

And the preliminaries give me

April 27, 2011 § 9 Comments

A 10.4 GPA!. My freaking Math killed me, but I am DONE with that! Awesomeness, I got a high enough grad to never, ever have to sit a math exam again!

Preliminary grades are getting posted today….

April 27, 2011 § 2 Comments

I am so freaking nervous.

DADT, the compromise that gained us nothing?

April 25, 2011 § 10 Comments

In 1993, new laws and regulations pertaining to homosexuality and U.S. military service came into effect reflecting a compromise in policy. This compromise, colloquially referred to as “don’t ask, don’t tell,” holds that the presence in the armed forces of persons who demonstrate a propensity or intent to engage in same-sex acts would create an unacceptable risk to the high standards of morale, good order and discipline, and unit cohesion which are the essence of military capability. Under this policy, but not the law, service members are not to be asked about nor allowed to discuss their “same-sex orientation.” The law itself does not prevent service members from being asked about their sexuality. This compromise notwithstanding, the issue has remained politically contentious.

So in a nut shell: So long as no one found out your were gay, you were okay to risk life and limb in service to your country. Sweet. Basically what we already had. Way to sell out.

Or so I thought

Then someone pointed out that it WAS important. Because it was the first acknowledgement that gay people were in the forces. Up until then, officially, there were no gay people in the forces. Because if you were gay, you were out. *confused* ofcourse there were gay in the military before, and they had to hide it, and now thanks to DADT they still have to hide it.
AH, But they officially exist. So we have gone from “no gays in the military” to “no open gays in the military”.. I guess I can see where it was a start.
“Do you think life changed after slavery was abolished?”
“Of course”
“Yep, so people just walked off the cottonfeilds and put on suits and got office jobs?”
“Well, no…”
“It was a start…”

So to all you brave folks who had to swallow the bitter pill of DADT, thanks. I get it now. It was a start.

wow, I went to bed and woke up 50

April 24, 2011 § 4 Comments

Followers that is :)It must be the long weekend:) You lot are amazing!
I am off to bed shortly. He is off to his family for the day. Early mass and all that fun stuff. Hehehe, sucker! I think I’m going for a bike ride a little later. I hope it is a nice day like yesterday. I gotta get out of the house. Dad’s always bitchy at Easter. I think it is family bullshit, as he is the only religious defector in his family. I think he feels left out. Even though it’s not like he is not invited. He will not go because of religious intolerance. HIS OWN that is. While the rest of the family would be perfectly content to live and let live (well maybe not Nonna) with the atheist, he insists on heaping distain towards their beliefs. I gotta say, I love my dad, but holy shit. His outlook on religion make backwater baptists look tolerant.

Why do we let people bring us down

April 23, 2011 § 15 Comments

So I had an amazing night. After work I went to Chris’. It’s kinda weird to go to his place when he is already in bed, but it makes it so easy after work. Work was fucking BRILLIANT. After weeks of wondering if it was a good move for me, I’m getting in the swing and loving the difference to my old job as much as the similarities.
I could have stayed at his, but I don;t like to be there when he isn’t, so I left when he left for work. I get hime, log into CS. Yes, I am that sad. I earned that Addict title, lol. Then (yes after that) I check my email and got a very nasty email from a stranger. I know, who gives a fuck, right? Then why the hell does it make me feel like shit? Why do I let these things get to me? Ugh! I am so caught between pissed off and …. no just pissed off. If you don’t like me, then don’t fucking READ my blog, dickhead! Don’t fucking tell me how disgusting it is as you quote from SEVERAL posts!

Sorry, had to have a bit if a rant there. And to dickhead, that is where it ended. I am not going to give it another thought. Fuck you!

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